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When you give birth for the first time and bring home a newborn baby, its a lifechanging time for new parents. However, many expecting parents don’t realize how much having a new baby can change a marriage.
Once you transform from just husband and wife to mommy and daddy, your daily life and your relationship have to adapt to your new life. Unfortunately, for some new parents, making this change is not easy and often causes a marriage to suffer.
My husband and I went through these exact fears. We got married at 18 years old and became pregnant with our first baby less than one year later. So realistically, we had barely any time as just a married couple.
And if it wasn’t for us working so hard to keep our relationship alive, we would have divorced. Thankfully, we have now been married for almost 10 years and have two beautiful children.
So here are 10 ways to maintain your relationship after having a baby.
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1. Don’t Stop Dating
As you’re reading this you may think I’m a little silly already, but hear me out.
When you first met your husband, you started dating right? And at that time when you were learning about each other and doing sweet things for one another, it felt really good.
Well, the theory behind this is that when you are dating someone, you are presenting your best self. In a sense, you are putting forth the most effort.
And once a couple gets married and begin to have babies, that effort sometimes goes out the window. All of the focus goes on being parents and none is put towards keeping your relationship strong.
So basically, one really great way to keep your marriage alive is to keep dating your spouse. Start flirting again and sending sweet text messages in the middle of the day. The more you take care of one another, the better your relationship will be.
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2. Show Affection
Now I have to admit that this is hard for me at times.
Before you have a baby, it’s really easy to feel beautiful and sexy, but after you become a mom, it can sometimes be hard to feel like being touched in an affectionate way. For me, it’s like being in mom mode and I have a hard time feeling like I can accept a sensual kiss from my husband because I’m still on Mommy duty.
I hope that makes sense.
But basically what I’m saying is to try to work on being affectionate. It will definitely make your spouse feel wanted and help you to feel cared for. It’s also good for your kids to see that their parents are happy and love each other.
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3. Be Competitive
One thing that really helps my husband and me to have a little fun together is to be competitive. We love to play games, make silly bets, and even just race to see who can get the baby dressed first.
These things may sound really silly, but they enhance our relationship and make parenting more fun.
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4. Be Flirty
Along with being affectionate try to be flirty.
Now with a baby on your hip, flirting may be the last thing on your mind, but make an effort to flirt with your husband now and then to let him know that you’re still attracted to him.
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Above everything else, always communicate.
Keeping each other in the loop about how you’re feeling or what you’re going through can make a huge difference in your marriage.
Even if you have something negative to say, talk about it. If you keep everything in, you’ll end up blowing up. So make time and talk with your spouse about your feelings.
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6. Date Night
I think every couple needs to have a date night. Now depending on your situation that date night can be a lot of different things.
So if you and your spouse need an evening out, ask a relative to watch the baby for a few hours so you can have a night off. Or if you aren’t interested in leaving the house, you can cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie or binge-watch your favorite TV show while the kids are asleep.
No matter what your date night consists of – make time for just you and your husband.
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7. Have Fun
What says when you have a baby that you have to grow up?
One of the best parts I have found from having our kids young has been having the energy to play with them. My husband and I often play lots of games with our kids and can make anything fun.
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8. Be Supportive
After bringing home your first baby parenting can be a hard adjustment – especially for new dads. So always try to be supportive of your husband while he adjusts into his new role as “Daddy.”
And in return ask him for his support as you learn how to be a Mom.
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9. Make Chores into Quality Time
Having kids means cleaning up way more. Between dirty dishes, laundry, diapers, and everyday cleaning, I feel like I am always doing chores.
So one way my husband and I make doing chores more fun is by doing them together and making them more fun. For example, we will tag team on the laundry and keep each other company during that time.
Just having that quality time together every day makes the chores easier to get through.
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10. Have Sex
Now don’t get all embarrassed. We all know that this is how you got pregnant in the first place. But make sure once you have the go-ahead from your OBGYN to make time for intimacy.
As I said it’s hard sometimes to feel sexy after having a baby, but you need to try to make this a priority for yourself as well as your husband. because if you don’t feel sexy and aren’t intimate, depression starts to set in.
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Have you had a newborn recently? How are you keeping your relationship strong after baby?