ARE YOU A STAY-AT-HOME-MOM?
If you do not spend each and every day with your kids at home then you have probably asked a stay at home mom some of these questions at one time or another.
“What do you do all day?” or “It must be so nice to get to stay home all day.”
My husband has even been asked on occasion, “Why doesn’t your wife go out and get a job?”
(THIS POST MAY CONTAIN AFFILIATE LINKS HOWEVER, I WILL NEVER RECOMMEND ANYTHING THAT I DO NOT BELIEVE IN OR USE MYSELF. YOU CAN READ MORE ABOUT MY DISCLOSURE POLICY HERE)
Being a SAHM is Hard Work
But most people don’t realize that being a stay at home mom is in no way an EASY task. It is a job in itself. Between keeping the house tidy (or at least trying), the whining children, and the piles of dirty clothes and dishes you have to keep up with, it can become very overwhelming.
Just trying to keep your sanity is a task in itself. I am failing miserably at this!
Although there are many people who think being a stay at home mom means you get to sit on your butt all day, watch soap operas and stuff your face while your kids run wild tearing up the house. In fact, the complete opposite is true. I have no time to even look at a TV let alone sit down and watch a show.
As a stay at home mom, I work twice as hard and twice as long as my husband who has a full-time job. I am on call 24/7 and never get to clock out. Even when my husband is home the kids call “Mom.”I am often the last one to sit down to a meal and even then I have to help the baby with his food.
But still, many stay-at-home moms are not recognized for the work they do all day. I myself have had a few family members imply that I am not working hard enough as a stay at home mom because I do not bring in a paycheck. Whereas if they were to add up all of the tasks I perform each day, they would not have enough to pay me for the hours I work.
HERE ARE SOME OF THE COMMENTS STAY AT HOME MOMS ARE TIRED OF HEARING:
1. Why Is Your House Messy?
What do you do all day? Do You Own a Vacuum Cleaner?
Yes, I do and it’s in the hall closet if you want to grab it and vacuum my floor yourself. What most people don’t realize is that staying home all day with your kids doesn’t mean you can just sit around and eat ice-cream while watching Game Of Thrones. HaHa.
My house is messy because as soon as I get one room cleaned up and spotless, I find another room that my kids have redecorated with toys all over the floor. I am outnumbered two and sometimes three to one (when my hubby is home) and I cannot keep everything in perfect order all of the time.
And if you’ve got furry pets at home you have an even harder time keeping it clean. Getting rid of pet hair is not as easy as you think.
Related: The Truth About Parenting with Depression & Anxiety
2. Oh, So You Don’t Work?
Yes, I do work all day and sometimes through the endless night. I am also working different jobs all at once.
- I am making three meals a day plus snacks in between
- Changing diapers
- Changing clothes
- Washing dishes
- Washing and Folding Laundry
- Taking children to and from school
- Grocery shopping with a screaming child that wants a cookie.
- Breaking up fights over who had a toy first
- Breastfeeding the baby
- Cleaning the house
- Changing sheets
- Paying Bills
- Wiping bottoms and noses
- Kissing Boo-boos and owies
- Putting kids down for a nap
- Giving baths
- And sometimes I am able to find time to go to the bathroom (but never by myself).
3. When Are You Going Back to Work?
“Going Back? When did I leave?”
I am working Fulltime as a Mommy. It is the hardest job I have ever had in my life. I am on call at any time day or night. I am not allowed any sick days or holidays off and am never guaranteed a full night’s sleep or even an uninterrupted nap. Being a Stay-at-Home Mom is a very tiring and often unrecognized, unappreciated, and underpaid career.
4. I Could NOT Stay at Home All Day. I Have to be Doing Something
Doing Something? I don’t ever stop doing something!
I am on the move all day. My kids have a special radar that tells them anytime I sit down or start to catch my breath so they can find me and put me back to work.
Also, many moms choose to stay at home with their children because childcare costs an arm and a leg. For one child it’s anywhere from $100 or more per week. And if you have more than one child, you are likely paying double that or even more.
5. Why Didn’t You Get This Done? It’s Not Like You Work.
“You have got to be joking. I haven’t even eaten yet”
When something does not get done it is not because I was slacking off or being lazy. It is because I barely have time to breathe or at times think.
I mean I am lucky that I am dressed right now!
Even making a simple phone call is a challenge with shrieking children surrounding me and pulling at my pants leg.
I have often told people who have asked me this question, “I will leave you at home with all of the kids and a huge list of chores to do so you can see how hard it is to get everything done.”
It is not just taking care of the house or taking care of the kids. Being a stay at home mom means being a wife, mommy, nurse, and peacekeeper all at once.
6. Your Husband Has been Working All Day, He Needs to Sit Down and Relax
“He needs to relax? What about me? When is my sick day or vacation?”
I have been running around every day seven days a week for over five years. I have worked while I was pregnant, sick, and even depressed. For me, a day to relax or even five minutes to myself would be amazing.
This last year, my husband had just started to realize all of the tasks I am juggling throughout the day and is now trying to help me when he comes home from work.
Just because stay at home moms do not get paid for all that they do does not mean they do not deserve to take a break now and then.
Experts have said that with all of the work that stay at home moms accomplish each day they should earn over $100,000 in salaries. Man! Wouldn’t that be nice?
If you are a stay-at-home mom have you had any insensitive comments? If so, leave them down below. I would love to hear about your experiences.
I got a comment from my husband after he came home from work one day and I had been busy with our son all day ( I am a stay at home Mom to a 5 year old )
( “where’s my supper?” “ “”Let me know when it will be ready!” Then he goes off to our room to our bed to lay down and take a nap.
Someone told me that I needed to be a productive member of society and teach my son what it is like to go to work everyday and have responsibilities. ?
I have a job where I get the summer off, so I’m a stay at home mom for 3 months and it’s difficult sometimes but it’s about the same as having job also. But I think people should stop saying these comments about stay at home moms because really it’s equally hard to be a stay at home mom and being a working mom. working moms have the regret of not getting time to spend with our kids because we are at work instead and it sucks!! Also we have like no energy after work to even spend time with our children, working moms and stay at home moms are both a job in itself. But you stay at home moms are very lucky to be able to spend time with your children all the time. Working moms it’s depressing because we’re trying to provide for our family but yet months turn into days and have no idea where the time went.
Blogging as a full time job?!?? What a waste of time. Give me a break. If you are blogging or journaling as I call it full time, what are your children doing for those 8 hours? I’ve been both. A stay at home mom for 8 years with my youngest. Yes, it was amazing and rewarding, but don’t dare knock working moms. Especially those that don’t have a choice. There are plenty of moms who work opposite hours as their husbands so their kids are always with a parent. Working moms sdo have to do all the mom stuff and work. Where’s the list of things never to say to working moms?
Yikes! Not sure why you are so very upset by this post. She definitely was not knocking working moms… AT ALL.
Blogging is one hundred percent a job, not journaling. And obviously this ‘journal’ was enough to suck you in and get you to read it ?
she is definitely not blogging for 8 hours with kids. My god, how?! When you blog with children, you are doing it every moment you can without ignoring your kids. Early mornings and late nights. Sending you some peaceful vibes girl!
I hate being referred to as “Just A Stay At Home Mom”…Hello! I am so much more than JUST a stay at home mom. Some people…
I was a stay at home Mom! Hardest most wonderful job there is. I worked twice as hard and twice as many hrs as my husband ever did. Besides which I took care of and canned a huge garden, mowed the yard and made all our clothing. My husband still asked what I did all day. My sister in lvaw, who had someone clean her house would ask why I didn’t work. My pay was in hugs, kisses, much frustration and love. I’m 76 now and the only thing I would do different is spend more time playing with the kids and less time cleaning. Who remembers now that I kept a spotless house? Who cares? It doesn’t matter. So hang in there you very special Moms. It’s very well worth anything you have to put up with. Think of it this way–if something would happen to you tomorrow would you rather your kids remember your love and singing and time spent with them or would you want them to say “mom kept a real clean house?” I know it’s hard but develop an ability to laugh about these idiots that think your job isn’t the most important one in this world!
Yes! I hate how people have the audacity to say anything at all… especially people who have no kids at all. I have to be up at a certain time, I’m basically on my kids schedule never mine, i cant sleep in, take my time to get ready go out for breakfast with my girl friends ir head out shopping, get my nails done, nope. I’m home all day changing diapers, breaking up fights over toys or whos cup is whos, I dont even eat breakfast sometimes or i eat when my girls take their nap. Its hard! I’m losing my mind tbh… lol or that’s what it feels like.
The thing you don’t get is working moms do all this and everything your husband does all day. So quit whining and thank your husband for allowing you to have 1 job.
Thank you! Staying home with kids all day is hard! I completely agree! But, it’s 10x harder working an 8 hour day then coming home to do everything else that needs to be done. I’d love to be a stay at home Mom!
You are right Chloe, the moms who work outside the home work hard and it is not easy to come home and do the laundry etc. But they do NOT do everything the stay at home mom does. They are not at home taking care of the child during the day. Somebody else does that work for them. Somebody else feeds the child, plays with the child, cleans up the mess etc.
I don’t think this post was meant to imply that working at home (taking care of the child and home) is harder than working outside the home. Both moms put in a lot of hours.
I have had every single last one of these things either said or implied. ESPECIALLY #6! Making you feel like you’re being selfish because you want your husband, the one who helped make these babies, to help. I absolutely love this.
Yes- I love this!!!!!
Yes-I LOVE this!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you for writing this! Hardest job I ever had was being a SAHM! I have worked and stayed home and staying home is SO much harder!
Yes. Being a Stay at home is not easy at all but it is very rewarding.
I am a SAHGM (stay at home grandmother) RAISING my two grandchildren, ages 11 and 13. My husband and I have had them since them were newborns. I home school them. Raising grandkids was not in my plans, but God had his plans and he knew we all needed each other! They are a joy. Looking at this post from my age/experience level I get annoyed and amazed that people have to even make comments to SAHM’s. Who do we want raising our children? Strangers? Really, the 1980’s told women that they could do it all. We could be superwomen. We could “bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan” etc. What we’ve learned now is that we truly, really can’t just cannot be everything to everyone. There is no such thing as the superwoman who can work full-time, raise kids, be a wife and lover, etc. and on and on. What we’ve learned is that sure, we can work 50 hours a week outside the home, but then we come home and work a full-time job there. I know that many men now-a-days take on the roll of helping with housework and child-rearing, but I wonder if it is a large percent? We’ve learned that we can TRY to be Superwoman, but that is all we can do — TRY. And it’s often at the expense of our health — physically, spiritually, emotionally and mentally. To raise and nurture the next generation of adults is an honorable job, and possibly the most important of jobs. It’s sad that women have learned to pit themselves against each other by measuring worth by “what you do” instead of who we are.
I just want to add a couple of questions that I’ve been asked: “Oh, so, you’re Grandma. WHERE’S their MOTHER?” (The question, “where’s their father?” has never been asked by any questioner). Another one: “It must be SO nice to be able to spend so much time playing with your grandkids.” And then there’s: Woman: “Do they get you up in the morning?” ME: “No, I get them up for school, or they set their alarm.” Woman: “Oh, wow! I wish my mom would come over and do that for me!”
I have been a SAHM since my 2nd was born 2 years ago, I can honestly say I am working harder now than I ever did while I had a paying job!
Right! Although I love getting paid with smiles, hugs, and kisses.
It’s funny when we are on a family beach vacation and I’ve spent all morning getting lunches ready, packing swim diapers and sand toys, chasing kids and getting swimsuits on, holding them down for sunscreen application, and then keeping an eye on the little ones playing near the water to make sure they don’t drown and someone sighs and says something like, “Isn’t it nice to be on vacation?” Hahahaha! It’s more work being on vacation than not when you have little ones.
It’s so true. At least at home you know your surroundings a little better. LOL
LOVE this! I work on a Saturday but am a SAHM the rest of the week, trust me those few hours I am at work on Saturday and drinking a HOT drink or peeing ALONE are bliss! Not that I would change it for the world! But all of the above hits it spot on!
Yes alone time is like GOLD! Thanks so much for your comment.
Oh, this is so perfect! Yes, the funniest (most insensitive) one came from my son who wanted me to volunteer for something and I said I didn’t have time for it during that period-his reply-“All you do is stay home, you don’t do anything.” Ha! He’s learned his lesson since then.
Right because the laundry and dishes magically get washed and put themselves away and food just comes already made out of thin air. LOL
Absolutely! I’ve been a SAHM for 6 years now and it is relentless. I am running around the house trying to catch snippets of time to hang the washing out or empty the bin before the kids need my attention again. I’m an on my feet all day. I also feel guilty about whether I’m reading to the children enough or firing their imaginations enough. I am a stay at home MUM and yet my mummy jobs are seen as unimportant. Would they think a nursery teacher was wasting their time if she sat down to read to the Children in her care? Then why is it different if a mum does it?! It’s such a shame that SAHMs are so undervalued in society…
Yes, it is! I think society does not walk in our shoes every day so they do not see how hard we work and all of the different jobs we have to take on. Thanks so much for your comment!
This is spot on! Especially number 6! My least favorite is when people imply that I shouldn’t be tired. Uh, excuse me? I’m the last to go to bed and the first to wake! Or when I’m able to run an errand alone on the weekend because my boyfriend is home and people say, “oh, is Brandon babysitting?” Uh, no! Since he’s her dad it’s called parenting!
Hahaha sorry, I totally joined your rant.
Plus, being a sahm AND blogging, is basically 2 full-time jobs!
We need to chat! The people who are talking down to you for being a SAHM are party poopers. I also want to note that you’re also blogging, which is actually a full time job in itself. It’s not your job to get it all done flawlessly! And anyone who wants you to believe that deserves nothing more than the “do it again and you’re going to time out” look. As a matter of fact, I’ll give ’em the look with you!
LOL! Thanks so much Jess. You are awesome.
It’s the look people ask what do you do, When I say I’m a stay at home mum they simply say oh and give a ‘look’. It’s normally people that don’t have children that do it.
Yes that is completely true. It’s sad to say but it happens to me a lot.