Worried about being bombarded by visitors at the hospital after giving birth?
This is one of the biggest worries that many soon to be parents do not even consider until they are about to give birth, but the truth is that it’s one of the most important parts of bringing a new baby into the world.
So of course when there is a new bundle of joy born, every family member is going to want to meet that little someone for the first time and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. However, there are some situations where too many visitors may want to stick around for the entire hospital stay and that can make recovery very difficult.
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This happened to me when my first child was born.
I was expecting to have an all-natural birth and it was going to be perfect, or so I thought. I wanted to have just my husband in the room with me as I gave birth to our daughter, and then was planning to let everyone come in to meet her afterward.
Well, that plan fell through and made a huge dent along the way.
I ended up going past my due date and being induced to try to get my labor started. The entire day that I was being induced, my family and my inlaws came in and basically set up camp in my hospital room.
Of course, I was a bit out of it and very tired but I remember being annoyed most of all since everyone was talking while I was trying to relax and deal with intense contractions.
Unfortunately, I never really dilated all of that time and the doctor decided to get our daughter out via c-section. Now, this hospital stay was my first ever. I had never had an IV, andy type of surgery, or even stitches before this. So needless to say I was incredibly terrified of being cut open for the first time.
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Once our beautiful baby girl was born I got to see her in my husband’s arms. The nurse then took her back to our room while I was being stitched up and my husband went along with her.
(Don’t worry! He didn’t just leave me. I asked him to go with her to make sure she was okay).
After finally getting back to my room, I was able to see my newborn baby and hold her for the first time. It was so amazing. But I remember also still feeling very emotional and wanting to have someone that I trusted to come in and comfort me.
My grandmother has always been like a mother figure to me so of course, I asked my husband to go and get her for me since everyone was still outside of the room.
What I didn’t realize was that my in-laws were trying to come into the hospital room when I just wanted my husband and my grandmother in there since I was starting to breastfeed for the first time and was still a little emotional from everything that had just happened.
My side of the family was trying to keep them out of the room and this entire thing blew up into a total confrontation between our families.
I honestly had no idea about the whole thing until the next day. But it was because of this and the fact I had so many surprise visitors at all times throughout the day that I didn’t get hardly any sleep or time to really bond with my new baby.
So For Our Second Birth, We Laid Out Some Boundaries
Since we knew we were having a repeat c-section for our second child’s birth, we asked for everyone to wait until we had a few days in the hospital to allow us to have time to bond with our baby and so I could get some much-needed rest before going home with a newborn baby and having a toddler.
1. Make a Plan
The second time around we told everyone on both sides of our family not to come up to the hospital until we had some time to bond with our baby. And by making a plan and letting everyone know ahead of time, you can ensure that your birth will be just what you need.
Of course, there are many parents that want everyone there when they give birth to meet the new family member.
Either way, having a plan makes a difference.
2. Have One Person as Your Voice
I was an emotional wreck during my first birth is an understatement. But having my husband who knew exactly what I wanted in my delivery of our baby made me feel much more secure because when I was so overwhelmed, he was able to be my voice and to delegate.
He also was able to be my rock and send people away when I just needed to be left alone to rest.
Assign one person as your delegate to ensure that your needs are being met. Whether it’s your husband, mother, or friend, having that one person that is taking care of what you need makes delivery much easier.
3. Set Visiting Hours
This was a huge problem the first time around. I felt like my hospital room had a revolving door that people just kept walking through. Whether it was a nurse or another family member coming to meet our baby, it was very tiring.
Set up specific hours that are just for visiting and have plenty of hours for rest. And only set up plans for those specific times.
4. Make Time For Crucial Bonding Time
A lot of people do not think about the fact that new parents really need to have time to bond with their newborn baby in the first few days.
This is even more important for moms who are planning on breastfeeding. Having plenty of skin to skin time and being able to openly breastfeed helps with establishing a good milk supply.
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5. Remember that You Can Always Change Your Mind
Don’t forget that you as the mom who is giving birth are in charge and if you decide to change your plans at the last minute that is okay.
Especially when you are giving birth for the first time. Sometimes you don’t really know what you need until you are already in labor.
6. Ask For What You Need
Childbirth and recovery are all about the mom and the newborn baby. So if you need more time to sleep ask. And if you need more support and certain visitors than ask.
This time is crucial for new parents to recover and get used to having a baby.
7. Don’t Worry About Hurt Feelings
There are some situations where you just cannot win. Someone’s feelings may get hurt, but with delivering a baby, the most important thing is to have a safe and successful labor, delivery, and recovery.
And if that means that you have one family member in the room with you and not the other that is okay.
8. When You Are Done Visiting Have An Out
Some visitors just may not know when it’s time to hit the road, especially when there is a new baby to see. So try to have an out for when you are ready to say goodbye to visitors so that you can have alone time and rest.
A few ideas maybe, “I need to breastfeed now, so I will see you later”, or “I am really tired so I need to take a nap.”
9. It’s Okay to Wait Until Your Home From the Hospital to Have Visitors
With our second child, we originally told our families that we didn’t want any visitors other than our older child to come and visit us at the hospital. And that is okay. Do not feel guilty for asking for these boundaries if that’s what you need.
You can always have them come over throughout the weeks following the delivery to meet your little one.
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Do you have any other tips for handling visitors after giving birth? I’d love to hear more ideas from other moms.