One of the first questions my husband and are asked when other people find out how young we were when we decided to tie the knot, is do we have any regrets? Or do we wish we had waited until we were older?
And honestly, our answer is always “NO.”
Though we both feel like we struggled more by making such a big decision at such a young age, we would not go back. But that is not saying that every young marriage will work out as good as ours has so far. In fact, there are so many obstacles that David and I had to overcome throughout the years.
So to begin, here is the story of us…
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Before We were Man and Wife
Okay…so my husband David and I met each other just 7 years ago in December of 2009. At the time, we both worked together at a sporting goods store and became friends very quickly. A few weeks passed and a new year came. In January of 2010, we started dating.
At the time, we both worked together at a sporting goods store called Academy Sports and Outdoors. I was working in the Apparel section and he was only hired to do seasonal work such as helping customers out with larger purchases and other things of that aspect.
But once Christmas had passed, David became a permanent employee and started to work in the Camping section which was in the back of the store.
To paint you a picture, the apparel section was directly in the middle of the entire store. So with Camping on the backside, David was able to cut through apparel and just so happen to bump into me several times on his way up to Customer Service.
Anyways, long story short, David and quickly became friends and then later in January of 2010, we started dating.
I Now Pronounce You
WARNING: WE GOT MARRIED VERY QUICKLY SO PLEASE TAKE A SEAT IF YOU ARE PRONE TO FAINTING WHEN BEING TOLD BIG LIFE CHANGING NEWS.
Eventually, he got the nerve up to ask me to marry him after only being together for a few months. (Yes, I know CRAZY!)
And then the day arrived! It was on August 3rd of 2010, that we said our “I Dos,” and were married. To say we were young is actually an understatement. Actually just over a month before our wedding day, we had both celebrated our birthdays. My 18th and David’s 19th birthday.
Fast-forward to 2016
Now that you have an idea of how young we were and how quickly we decided to get married, I can tell you all of the ups and downs we have experienced over the past 6 years. Because it has definitely not been a piece of cake. Being married takes a real commitment and a ton of work.
Everyone always says that the first year of marriage is the hardest year. And, I believe the reason the first year is so difficult is that you have to learn to think and act as a unit. You are not just one person by yourself anymore. You and your spouse are a team, which means everything you do affects your spouse and vice versa. But the problem with being young is that it is hard to put someone else’s needs before yours. Especially if you have never had to before.
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh (Genesis 2:24).”
Having the security and knowing that your relationship is built on trust is a huge foundation for a marriage. We definitely, had to learn to trust one another to become one.
In fact, in the beginning of our marriage, I often did not consult David on many decisions and made several choices on my own. Through my decisions, I lost his trust and it took me a few years to finally earn it back. And now, we can usually tell how each other will react to any situation(for the most part that is).
By being completely honest with each other, I never have to worry about keeping up a lie and we feel much closer as a couple because of it.
When you get married before attending or completing college and building a career, you usually have to struggle quite a bit. Unless you’re lucky!
Unfortunately, David and I have struggled a lot. And money struggles are one of the number one reasons that most couples argue. And when couples argue a lot, it can put a strain on their relationship.
Being young often means being immature. It’s just a fact of life and nature. And in our case, we often became annoyed with one another. But fortunately, we have been able to grow up together in a sense.
Sadly, the biggest con for us was the lack of faith in our relationship. And most of our family members believed we would be divorced within the first couple of years. Honestly, even I can understand why they were concerned.
A recent study found that Americans who live together or get married at age 18 have a 60% divorce rate. That is a HUGE percentage of young couples. Over half in fact!
But even with all of the odds we were up against, David and I still tried to find the good things that came out of getting married at a young age.
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One of the greatest parts about finding each other when we were young is that we can look back at how much we have grown together as a couple and as individuals. I always joke to other people that I have been put a lot of work into David as if he were a project and finally have him almost “trained.” (haha) But I forget to tell them how much he has changed me and the way I live every day of my life. Because of him, I feel like I can accomplish anything and that is something I would never have believed before meeting him. I feel as though we have molded each other into the people we are today and we find a new reason to fall in love every single day.
Having Children Young
Now, of course, you don’t have to have your children right away. You can wait as long as you want but having them young can be a lot of fun as well. In our case, we had Aubrey just over a year after we got married. And in a way, she has also shaped us into who we are as parents. We have also been able to keep up with her for the most part since we are younger.
Making More Memories
Almost a third of my life I have spent being married to David. (Really that long?)
And in that time we have created so many wonderful and crazy memories together. That is why I could not imagine what my life would have been like if we had waited to become man and wife. For example, I have a friend that just recently became engaged in his mid-20s and I am over here thinking, “Wow! I am not even 25 and I have already been married for 6 years and had two children.”
Not that there is anything wrong with waiting once again, but I also believe if you find the right person, there is no “right age” to finally say your vows and spend the rest of your lives together. Love is not measured in years but in how deeply you care for one another and how much work you put into it.
Finally, I want to say that getting married at a young age can be extremely challenging. It is definitely not for everyone, and sometimes you just get lucky. I am so blessed to have met my husband and best friend at a young age and have enjoyed that past 6 years as his wife. Although it certainly hasn’t always been easy in any way, for us, it has always felt just right.
Did you get married in your 20s or even younger? Or did you wait until you were a little more mature and established to tie the knot? Tell me below. I love to get feedback from my readers.
I was 17, he was 21. We just celebrated our 25th anniversary. We have been through it ALL. Forgiveness has to be the strongest player on the team. Learning to ask forgiveness for yourself and one another. I always tell parents whose younger adult children are about to get married, “you may not agree with them but you need to support them.” Young married couples need a strong support system and they need brides and grooms that have strong marriages to be witness and role models for them. Most importantly, they need a multitude of prayers being said on their behalf and requesting God to protect, shield, guide, and encompass their marriage with a bond of love that can not be shaken.
I’m a big proponent of not making marriage wait. Getting married young can be such a blessing! You don’t need the degree, the big job, and the nice house before you’re ready to settle down. In fact, a spouse can be a support system through school, and shape your vision of where you want your life to go.
My biggest lesson was trust enough to communicate openly. Talk it out when I got mad instead of storming off and playing cold shoulder. Relay expectations and disappointments so that we could work together and make our dreams happen.
Way to go! Marriage is wonderful!
Thanks so much for your comment. We have learned many lessons together and I feel like that is the best way.