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Once you have become settled as a parent of one or more children, the question that seems to pop into your mind is, “Should I Have Another Baby?”
Whether you are considering a second child or your fifth, it’s always a huge decision to make once you have started having kids. And often parents don’t really know how many children they want to have until they already have a house full. But if you are still unsure about having another baby you may just need to consider a few things to help you make your decision.
So here are 12 questions to ask yourself before you decide to start trying to add another child to your family.
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1. Can We Afford Another Baby?
One of the most important things to talk about before having another baby is whether your income can support another child.
With baby essentials costing thousands of dollars in diapers, clothing, gear, and more kids are super expensive. Especially during the first year. Of course, you can certainly cut costs and save tons of money when having another baby by resuing baby items.
However, making sure that your income is reliable enough to accommodate another family member is usually the biggest question to ask.
The best way to check that your income and expenses can handle another baby is to sit down and create a budget spreadsheet so that you can go over and ensure that you will be able to manage.
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2. Your Family’s Lifestyle
What is your family’s lifestyle like now?
Do you have smaller children and are still ready to add another baby while your other children are young? Or are your children all teenagers and doing their own thing?
Having another baby can really change your family’s lifestyle – especially if you are now in a good routine and everything is going well. So be sure that having another baby will only add to your lifestyle rather than take away from it.
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3. How Does Your Spouse Feel About Having Another Baby?
One common thing I hear from moms who are considering having another child is, “I want another baby but my husband doesn’t.” And your husband’s feelings about having another baby are very important to consider since he would be fathering and parenting another child. The biggest mistake is pressuring him into something that he does not want to do.
And having a baby should be exciting and something that both parents agree on. If not your husband could harbor a lot of resentment and that’s not good for anyone.
You also want to consider your marriage and whether it is strong enough to handle another child. Although many couples don’t consider this until they have kids, but children really change how your relationship works and how you make time for each other. So adding another little person to the household needs to be considered carefully.
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4. Do We Have Room for Another Baby?
One thing is for sure, if you don’t have enough room for another baby, then things are going to start getting very cramped.
Of course, not every child has to have their very own room if your other child is okay with having a roommate but your new child will still need to have their own space to sleep, play, and even in the car.
So checking that your vehicle and your home can support another baby and give them room to grow will help you with your decision.
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5. Can We Handle One More Child?
This was one of our questions recently since I have always dreamed of having three children. But we also had to ask ourselves if we could handle one more child. And at the moment the answer is “No!”
With two children that have both been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder and me as well, we are already juggling tons of different therapies, appointments, and school meetings.
So when you are having a hard day with your child or children that you already have, stop think about if you had another baby at the moment. Could you handle it?
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6. How Will My Child Handle Another Baby?
Adding another baby to your family is not only life-changing for you as the parents but also to your existing child or children. They would be getting a sibling.
So trying to picture them having a younger brother or sister and thinking about how they would handle it is a great thing to consider.
7. How Many Children Do You Want?
Most parents don’t decide how many they want until they are done having children. But many parents have some idea of what they want their family to look like in the future and how many children would fill their family.
So try to make a decision of how many children you and your spouse would ideally be happy to have before considering having another baby.
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8. Your Career
Having a career comes with huge responsibilities and once you decide to have another baby there are a few questions to ask about your job.
- Are you able to take time off from your career to have postpartum leave?
- Once you go back to work who will provide childcare for your new baby?
- Can you work from home to care for the baby?
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9. Am I Ready for Pregnancy and Postpartum Again?
Pregnancy is hard! Enough said right?
But once you have been through pregnancy and postpartum you start to feel better and things get a bit easier. So when asking yourself, “Am I ready for another baby?” think about whether your body is ready to go through another pregnancy and childbirth again.
The end result is truly worth all that you go through to give birth but you also have to consider whether you can truly handle going through it all over again.
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10. Is It Just A Phase?
Are you just having baby fever because your kids are getting older? Baby fever is when you think you want another baby but instead just want to hold or awe over a baby to make you feel better.
The best way to know if you are just having baby fever is to spend time with and hold a baby to see if that cures your needs. Once the baby starts to cry or you feel that you are done, you know it’s just a phase and will pass.
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11. Why Do I Want Another Baby So Bad?
When you have that feeling of wanting another baby very badly ask yourself why.
- Are you trying for a specific gender?
- Do you want a playmate for your other child?
- Do you miss the baby phase
Really try to nail down the reason that you want another baby now and try to figure out if it’s a good enough reason to have another child.
12. Will I Regret Not Having Another Baby?
This is a very hard question to ask because you don’t want to ever have any regrets about whether you did or didn’t have another child.
So the best way to figure this one out is to picture your family just the way it is growing up without adding another new baby to it and see how you feel.
If you feel content then that’s a sign that you don’t want to have any more children right now. But if you feel sad as if someone is missing from your family or that it’s incomplete then you may need to consider if you would regret not having another baby.