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“Why would I date my husband after I have already married him?”
It sounds so silly when you say it out loud right? But if you think about it. It makes perfect sense.
My husband David and I only dated for eight months before tieing the knot. What’s even crazier is that we had only known each other for nine months. Looking back now it was very fast and we really did not spend enough time getting to know each other.
Then if getting married quick wasn’t CRAZY enough we decided to start trying to get pregnant after only five short months. Yes, I know like I said we had completely lost our minds. We were young newlyweds! Everything was still new. But we wanted a baby. And with having this little person in our lives almost immediately it made spending quality time together even more of an obstacle.
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We skipped our honeymoon stage altogether and went straight into parenthood.
Our life suddenly became very scheduled and boring. We were changing diapers, cleaning up messes, cooking dinner, and going to work. There was never any excitement and nothing to look forward to. It was always just any other day.
I remember David telling me many times that he missed how we used to be when we were dating. That he missed us having fun, goofing around, and spending alone time together. And I myself, genuinely missed getting dressed up to go out on dates and going to the movie theater together.
As time went by it seemed like we argued daily about little things that didn’t really matter. I also quickly noticed that David was becoming very distant from me because our life was so routine and unexciting. It got so bad that there were times that he did not even want to be intimate with me. Which made matters much worse.
I started to fear that our marriage would not survive, but I didn’t know how to fix everything. It wasn’t until we had been married for 5 years that I finally figured out the solution to our problems.
David had been telling me what we needed to do all along.
He missed how we were when we were DATING!
But dating is SO very important even after you’ve said I DO. Dating rekindles all of those feelings that you had before you got married.
For example. One thing I missed so much from our young dating life was how David would get all dressed up for me. I love how he went out of his way to impress me, and because of that it made me feel good and gave me confidence in myself as a woman.
Here Are 4 Reasons Why You Should DATE Your Husband/Wife –
1. You Need to Make Your Spouse a Priority
When you date your spouse you are letting them know you are still interested in and attracted to them. Do you remember when you first started dating and everything was brand new? When you could just look at each other and instantly get butterflies in your stomach. That’s the feeling you want to always have. Whether you’ve just started dating or you’ve been married for 50+ years. When my husband surprises me with a bouquet of flowers or plans a special date for me, it gives me those butterflies again. It also makes me feel like a priority.
I am also guilty of not doing this enough. I get so caught up in being MOMMY that I forget that I am a wife also. And dating my husband is a priority. I have to set aside a special time to take off my mom sweat pants and T-shirt and dress up for my man.
2. It Sets A Good Example for Your Children
Dating your spouse also displays what a healthy marriage should look like for your children. For my daughter, I feel like my husband opening doors for me and taking me out on a date teaches her how a husband should treat her. I want her to grow up and marry a kind and gentle man that will honor her.
And for my son, it shows how a man is supposed to treat a woman. I also want to teach him to marry a kind woman that will treat him with respect.
I personally never remember my parents dating and I think their marriage did suffer for it. It ended in an ugly DIVORCE.
3. Dating Helps Intimacy
Dating helps your intimate life also. I promise. Before we started dating again we were hardly ever intimate. And even when we were it was scheduled and BORING. It always felt rushed. But when we started dating again, we felt more attracted to one another and also more spontaneous and adventurous. It has made us feel like teenagers again in some aspects.
4. Dating Keeps You From Getting Divorced
Like I said before, my parents’ marriage ended in Divorce. They were married for over 20 years but spent most of those years arguing. They didn’t take the time to enjoy each other anymore. And after witnessing their failed marriage I was constantly worried about ours. I have always wanted to be with one person for the rest of my life.
Divorce also ruins families and I wonder sometimes if my parents had taken the time to date and appreciate one another if they would still be married.
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For David and me, dating has rekindled a fire in us that has been out since before we had our first child. And divorce is something we never worry about anymore. Partly because no one on this earth would ever put up with either of us. Haha!
We have been reminded of why we fell in love in the first place and why we got married. We truly love one another and want to be married for the rest of our lives.
If you know someone who may be struggling share this post with them!